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251: Twilight

October 8, 2020

This week on Myopia Movies, we see what all the fuss is about! We watched Twilight, our first black and white film.

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461: Constantine (2005)
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460: We’re Back
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459: The Rocketeer
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457: Rollerball (2002)
This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a remake, that was not asked for, not needed, missed the point, but boldly had Night Vision! We watched Rollerball (2002) and saw Rebecca Romjin naked in a PG 13 Movie as the director of Die Hard imagines the horr...
456: Mighty Ducks 3
Welcome to Myopia Movies, this week we wish there was mo Emilio! We watched Mighty Ducks 3, the search for more money. How will Mighty Ducks 3 hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Nur, Alex
455: Pokemon: The First Movie
This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a family film about dog fighting! We watched Pokemon: The First Movie, a film about GMOs, Euthanasia, and power no children should have. How will Pokemon: The First Movie hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Daniel, Alex, K...
454: The NeverEnding Story
This week on Myopia Movies, we are traumatized by another movie about flying by the director of Air Force One. Join us for childhood changing moments with The NeverEnding Story! How will The NeverEnding Story hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Kellie, Jon, Da...
453: Mimic (1997)
This week we call the exterminator and do a deep cleaning. We finish Quinntober with the Guillermo del Toro creature feature Mimic (1997). The movie that has makes us afraid of CDC efforts to end malaria. How will Mimic (1997) hold up? Host: Matthew...
451: The Phantom
Welcome by to a Quinntober Episode of Myopia! We are talking about the bespandexed and coweled Indiana Batman knock-off, The Phantom! How will The Phantom hold up? Host: Matthew Panel: Nic and Candace, and Nur(?) Directed by Simon WincerStarring: B...
55: Redwall by Brian Jacques
This week, Mike Carroll raps poetic about the role a mouse book played in his literary life. We talked about Redwall by Brian Jacques, volume 1 of 22; them mice sure get up to mischief! How does Redwall by Brian Jacques hold up? Co-hosted: Nic Hoffma...
451: The Ghost and the Darkness
This week of Quinntober we join two familiar faces as they shoot lions. We watched The Ghost and the Darkness, the movie where a British white savior isn't enough; you need an American as well. How will the Ghost and the Darkness hold up? Host: Matth...
450: Priest (2011)
This week on Myopia Movies, would you look at that, it is Quinntober an entirely Matt Quinn programmed month, so we, of course are starting with a Sci-Fi Fantasy Movie, where priest warrior Paul Bettany fights vampires when the theocratic world gover...
449: Ghost
This week on Myopia Movies we finish our Romantic Month with a movie directed by one of the Airplane guys. We watched Ghost, the movie where Tony Goldwyn enters the ranks of greatest on-screen deaths. How will Ghost hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Daniel,...
448: Pretty Woman
As we stretch this Romantic Month in to week four, how long is this shortest month, we watch the movie that brought Julia Roberts into our hearts. We saw Pretty Woman, everyone's favorite PG13 movie about prostitution. How will Pretty Woman hold up? ...
447: Teen Witch
This week we seduce the man of our dreams using magic, and have no qualms about that. We watched Teen Witch, the lady version of Teen Wolf! How will Teen Witch hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Lauren, Nur Directed by Dorian WalkerStarring: Robyn Li...
445: Legend (1985)
This week we find Tim Curry terrifying and erotic, like most weeks. We watched Legend (1985), a friend pointed out that Tom Cruise's teeth don't line up in this film. I noticed it. I can't stop noticing it. Turns out, he needed to get rid of them the...
446: Flashdance
This week we give up our construction job to go full into our dancing hobby, we watched Flashdance another movie with a vague boyfriend named Nick. How will Flashdance hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Lauren, Keiko and Nur Directed by Adrian LyneStarring J...
444: Back to the Future
This week in Myopia Movies, we watch the horniest time travel movie this side of Cinemax. To round out my month of selections we go back in time with Back to the Future. How will Back to the Future hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Charlie, Nur, and Candace...
443: Jaws (1975)
This week on Myopia Movies, we keep open the beaches. We continue Hoffmannia by watching Jaws, a reminder of the time I screamed at the beach after stepping on a sea nettle. How will Jaws hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matthew, Nur, Keiko Directed by Stev...
442: Terminator 2: Judgement Day
This week on another Hoffmanniac Month episode, you stick with us, because you want to live. We watched Terminator 2: Judgement Day, asta la vista, baby. Also, welcome Nur to the Cineprov Family! How will Terminator 2: Judgement Day hold up? Host: ...
441: Star Trek: Generations
This week on Myopia Movies, we start Hofftober Month and enter the Nexus! We watched Star Trek: Generations, one more Christmas movie this season. Yes, I curated the whole month, and yes Star Trek is fantastic. How will Star Trek: Generations hold u...
440: Silent Night, Deadly Night
This week we visit the most depressing company Christmas Party in Cinema history. We watched Silent Night, Deadly Night, Bambi's revenge! How will Silent Night, Deadly Night hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Matthew, and Charlie Directed by Charle...
439: Miracle on 34th Street
This week, with Christmas rapidly approaching, we revisit John Hughes' tight legal drama. We learn where John Hammond hid after Jurassic Park, we watched Miracle on 34th Street! How will Miracle on 34th Street hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko and Nur ...
53: The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King by J. R. R. Tolkien.
This week we complete the saga and talk The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King by J. R. R. Tolkien. Since the first season, we have had a guest episode with the great Robert von Hagen, but now, in season four we have completed the Tolkien seri...
438: Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and The Year without a Santa Claus
This week on Myopia Movies, we learn it is ok to be a dentist. We splurge and watch two classic Rankin and Bass Shorts! We watched Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and The Year without a Santa Claus, ground zero for the classic holiday characters Yukon...
437: Home Alone 3
This week we fight the bad guys and defend our home! We watched Home Alone 3, the first one that isn't a classic. How will Home Alone 3 hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko and Candace Directed by Raja GosnellWriten by John HughesStarring Alex D. Linz, ...
436: Rad (1986)
Grab your BMX, this is about to get EXTREME! We watched the 1980s cult classic Rad! Directed by the stunt man behind Smokey and the Bandit. How will Rad hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Matthew, Nur Directed by Hal NeedhamStarring: Bart Conner, Lor...
435: Lord of the Rings – The Return of the King
This week we finish the epic film franchise that is perfect for when the turkey has you glued to the couch. We watched the Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King, All this stuffing is so heavy, Sam. Our most awarded and gayest movie to date! How ...
434: True Lies
This week we visit Arnie, Tommy, and Jimmy as we make an American Austrian Bond Movie. We watched True Lies and trick our wives to do a sexy dance. How will True Lies hold up? Host: Jon Panel: Nic and Christine Directed by James CameronStarring: A...
433: The 6th Day
This week we return to Arnold! And guess what, not one, but two Arnolds! We watched The 6th Day, and we eat your birthday cake! Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Nur, Matthew How will The Sixth Day hold up? Directed by Roger SpottiswoodeStarring: Arnold Schwa...
432: Carrie (1976)
We end our Kingtastic Month with the classic Brian de Palma film about the dangers of menstruation. We watched the bicentennial's own Carrie! Earning an academy nod for both female leads, this film reminds us high school was awful, gym class was wors...
431: Creepshow (1982)
This week we watched a classic comic book movie, we watched Creepshow (1982), the one where everyone is kind of a bastard. Leslie Nielsen, Roaches, Dead people, everyone is a reallllll bastard. How will Creepshow (1982) hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Cha...
430: Graveyard Shift
This week, we get a crap job in Maine. We watched Graveyard Shift, has Brad Dourif ever been not sweaty? How will Graveyard Shift hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Charlie, Daniel, Nur Directed by Ralph S. SingletonStarring David Andrews, Kelly Wolf, Step...
429: Christine
This week on Myopia, we watch Stephen King's Top Gear! We saw Christine, what happens to bullying, nerds, and cars when Cocaine is involved. How will Christine hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Charlie, Madison, Matthew, Daniel Directed by John CarpenterSta...
428: The Stupids
As we wind down this Dantastic Month, he punishes us for doing so. We watched The Stupids, a movie with cameos from David Cronenberg, Christopher Lee, Frankie Faison and more! My only question is, why? How will The Stupids hold up? Host: Daniel Pa...
50: Just Kids by Patti Smith
This week, for our 50th episode, we talk memoirs, the art scene of the 1970s, the late Robert Mapplethorpe, and the incomparable Patti Smith. We talked Just Kids by Patti Smith. "WINNER OF THE NATIONAL BOOK AWARD “Reading rocker Smith’s account of h...
427: Armed and Dangerous
This week we continue our Dantastic month and podcast dictator Daniel has selected this baffling movie! We watched Armed and Dangerous, a movie with both John Candy and Eugene Levy playing sex objects. How will Armed and Dangerous hold up? Host: Dan...
426: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
This week, we talk about a comic adaptation where the fictional stories are actually biographies, which perhaps is why the plot is so contrived. We watched The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, what I imagine Sean Connery calls his drinking buddies....
425: Reanimator
This week we can't let a good idea die. We watched Reanimator or How to get a head in Science. How will Reanimator hold up? Host: Daniel Panel: Nic, Nur, Matthew Directed by Stuart GordonStarring: Jeffrey Combs, Bruce Abbott, Barbara Crampton, David...
424: Mortal Kombat (1995)
This week we watch the best video game movie I saw this year. We watched Mortal Kombat (1995), Round Two...FIGHT! How will Mortal Kombat hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Matthew Directed by Paul W.S. AndersonStarring: Christopher Lambert, Robin Shou,...
423: Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
This week we reheat vengeance, a dish best served cold. We watched Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, because we needed a good sci-fi cry. How will Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matthew, Keiko, Candace Directed by Nichola...
422: Batman Forever Revisited
This week we riddle over who's afraid of the big black bat, nothing homoerotic about that! We watched Batman Forever! Inspiring the newest ride at a Six Flags near you! How will Batman Forever hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matt, Charlie Directed by J...
415: A Goofy Movie – ReVisited
This week we revisit the scenic locale of the Leaning Tower of Cheesa. We revisited A Goofy Movie, watch it BEFORE YOU END UP IN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR! How will A Goofy Movie hold up after nine more years? Host: Nic Hoffmann Co-Host: Nur, Matthew Panel...
420: TMNT (2007)
This week on Myopia Movies we get season 10 going with a return to form; starting a season with a healthy dose of fighting and pizza. We watched TMNT, yet ANOTHER movie where Raphael was a jerk to everyone. How will TMNT hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Ke...
420: Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure
This week on Myopia Movies, we mourn a great one by celebrating a fantastic one and learned there is no basement in the Alamo. We watched Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, you don't wanna get mixed up with a guy like him. He's a loner, Dottie. A rebel. How w...
418: Alien: Resurrection
This week on Myopia Movies summer movies, we nearly kill Wynona Ryder and run out of ideas! We watched Alien: Resurrection, um...maybe pirates? How will Alien: Resurrection hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Jeremy, Matthew, Daniel Directed by Jean-Pierre ...
46: A Wrong Cruelly Done by Michael Carroll
Hey readers! This summer has been a mess and I promise we will soon return with a regular episode. In the meantime, here is a short story, soon to be published, by panelist Mike Carroll. A Wrong Cruelly Done. Enjoy, Nic
417: Alien 3
This week on Myopia, we cover our first Fincher flick! We watched Alien 3, in an insane world, a sane man must appear insane.Now, I know Daniel loves this one, but man, I was confused.... How will Alien 3 hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Jeremy, Daniel, an...
416: Aliens
This week, we learned that Paul Reiser can play a real shit-heel. We watched the James Cameron sequel, Aliens! In space, corporations still don't care about their workers.... How will Aliens hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Jeremy, Daniel, Matthew. Directe...
415: Alien
This week we learn about space and screaming. We start our summer movie fest with Alien! How will Alien hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matthew, Daniel, Jeremy Directed by Ridley Scott Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Tom Skerritt, John Hurt, Veronica Cartwrig...
407: Mission Impossible 2
This week on Myopia Movies, John Woo BRINGS THE DOVES! We watched the ageless Tom Cruise save the day again in honor of his newest Mission Impossible movie, 23 years after this one came out. How will Mission Impossible 2 hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Ch...
408: Popeye
This week, we will gladly pay you Tuesday for a podcast today! We watched a musical about Popeye from a world class director, because creativity died long ago. How will Popeye hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matt, Daniel Directed by Robert Altman Starring...
414: Garfield (2004)
This week we watched the CGI nightmare that is Garfield (2004). It raises important questions: was Bill Murray really tricked into this because he thought it was by Joel Coen instead of Joel Cohen? Why are all the animals real except for Garfield? Ca...
411: The Running Man
This week on Myopia Movies, we learn the dangers of reality TV and Jesse Ventura. We watched The Running Man, the greatest end to the Kardashians. How will the Running Man hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matthew, Daniel, Lauren Directed by Paul Michael G...
410: Shrek 2
This week on Myopia Movies, we are accidentally in love. We watched Shrek 2, the film that introduced the spin-off and makes Shrek, once again, into a sex symbol. How will Shrek 2 Hold up? Host: Nic Co-Host: Matt and Nur Directed by: Andrew Adamso...
409: Pet Sematary (1989)
This week we learn that sometimes, dead is better. We watched Pet Sematary, why would you live on the Talladega Raceway? How does Pet Sematary hold up? Host: Nic Co-Host: Matthew, Daniel, Nur
408: Paycheck
Is it more ironic that no one remembered this film, or that I did, but only barely. We watched Paycheck, the movie named for the reason that Ben Affleck showed up! Want to follow me? Try out: Letterboxd, Twitter, Facebook, email. Also rate and revi...
407: Splash (1984)
This week on Myopia Movies, we get wet! We watch as Tom Hanks tries to bang a fish with John Candy's help, just to punish Eugene Levy. We watched Splash, the origin of the women's name Madison; no really. How will Splash hold up? Host: Nic Co-Host: ...
406: Missing In Action
This week, we were going to make a podcast about a Chuck Norris movie, but he roundhouse kicked the podcast into submission. We watched Missing in Action! The only movie more misguided than a Ross Perot Campaign. How will Missing In Action hold up? H...
405: Killer Workout (Aerobicide)
This week we get fit, but not tanned....We watched Killer Workout! Just release podcast and stop showing off your tits and your tight little ass! How will Killer Workout hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matthew Directed by David A. PriorStarring: Marcia Ka...
404: Multiplicity
This week watch a movie with the great Michael Keaton, the excellent Michael Keaton, the awesome Michael Keaton, and the mediocre Michael Keaton. We watched Multiplicity, how does he afford any of this? How does Multiplicity hold up? Host: Nic Panel:...
403: Crocodile Dundee
This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a documentary about what may or may not be a knife. We watched Crocodile Dundee, betcha you don't think "Academy Award Nominated" when you watched this, but you, my friend would be wrong. How does Crocodile Dunde...
402: Leviathan
This week on Myopia, Daniel Stern turns on the sexual harassment, we finally get to Leviathan, and wow, what a picture! How will Leviathan hold up? Host: Nic Co-Host: Matthew Panel: Candace Directed by George P. CosmatosStarring Peter Weller, Richar...
401: The Room (2003)
As this celebration train continues, we make a stop over in Wiseau World. We watched The Room, we're the experts, Mark! How will the Room hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Candace, Lauren, Nur, Daniel. Read the Disaster Artist Directed by Tommy Wiseau Starr...
400: Waterworld
This week on Myopia Movies, we get a might soggy. For episode #400 we watched Waterworld, Mad Max for people who like it wet. We want to thank you for listening and subscribing. We have a global audience that encourages us to continue this project. ...
399: Critters (1986)
This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a movie that watched Gremlins, we watched Critters, M. Emmett Walsh at his most blustery! How will Critters hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Charlie Directed by Stephen HerekStarring: Dee Wallace, M. Emmet Walsh, Billy ...
42: Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
This week we revisit the Gothic Horror, Bildungsroman, potential black comedy, Victorian Middle Class novel that is Jane Eyre. This was Nic's selection for the book he read in high school and hated, but will a reread make it better? It certainly won'...
398: Dragonslayer (1981)
This week we watched Dragonslayer (1981), despite being scheduled months ago and requested by Matt years ago, it happens to corespond with the 4k release! So, in honor of a good timing, let's talk Dragonslayer (1981)! How will Dragonslayer hold up? H...
397: City Slickers
This week we watch the miracle of life as Billy Crystal gives birth to a calf. We watched Academy Award Winning Picture City Slickers, the movie where Daniel Stern knocks up Lisa Simpson. How does City Slickers hold up? Host: Nic Co-Host: Matthew Di...
396: When Harry Met Sally
This week on Myopia, we fake an orgasm at a diner. We watched When Harry Met Sally and learn a valuable lesson; sex would ruin the podcast. How does When Harry Met Sally hold up? Host: Nic Co-Host: Matthew Panel: Nur Directed by Rob Reiner Written b...
395: Michael
This week we learn that archangels just want to get laid. We watched Michael, at least Travolta gets to dance. How will Michael hold up? Host: Nic Co-Host: Matthew, Daniel Panel: Lauren Written and Directed by Nora Ephron Starring: John Travolta, An...
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394: Sleepless in Seattle
As we continue our Nora Ephron month, we return to Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle, the film where a child hacks the airline industry to pull a pervy Kevin McCallister and hook his dad up with a stranger. How will Sleepless in Seattle...
393: You’ve Got Mail
This week, we fall in love with Tom Hanks as he becomes the world's biggest catfisher. We watched You've Got Mail, TimeWarner couldn't keep AOL together, what hope did HBOMax have.... How will You've Got Mail hold up? Host: Nic Hoffmann Co-Host: Dani...
392: Karate Kid (1984)
This week we talk the Karate Kid (1984)! In honor of the renewal of Cobra Kai and the announcement of the Academy Award Nominees, we talk about the Academy Award Nominated film, Karate Kid! Nominated, of course, for Pat Morita's masterful performance...
391: Ewoks: The Battle for Endor
Wilfred Brimley? In Star Wars? It happened in Ewoks: The Battle for Endor! After the bloodbath beginning, join us for magic, talking Ewoks, and Brimley calling kids beggars. How will Ewoks: The Battle for Endor hold up? Host: Nic Co-Host: Matthew an...
390: X-Files: I Want to Believe
This week we ruin a beloved franchise and ask the question, can pedophiles be heroes? We watched X-Files: I Want to Believe, or alternate title, X-Files: Where are the !@#$@#$!@ Aliens? How will X-Files: I Want to Believe hold up? Host: Nic Co-Host:...
389: X-Files: Fight the Future
This week on Myopia Movies, we open the vault to release the movie that makes you love the X-Files, so that next week we can cover the movie that made you hate the X-Files. X-Files: Fight the Future is tight, fast, entertaining and exciting. Someone ...
388: The Star Wars Holiday Special
This week we end the year suffering for your pleasure. We watched The Star Wars Holiday Special where we learn that Chewbacca just kind of bails on his family for the entirety of the Skywalker Saga. How does The Star Wars Holiday Special hold up? Ho...
387: How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)
This week on Myopia Movies, we learn that there was no need to make The Mean One, there had been a horror version of the Grinch since the year 2000. We watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000), Jim Carrey went through torture training for this r...
386: Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
This week on Myopia Movies, we get heavier. We watched Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, comin' in glory at the turn of the tide! How will Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers hold up for its 20th Anniversary? Host: Nic Panel: Matthew, Daniel, Candace...
385: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings
In honor of the 20th Anniversary of the release of the The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, we are covering The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings and the Two Towers back to back. Will we make it? CAN WE SURVIVE? WILL IT MAKE ME WANT TO...
384: Willow (Movie 1988)
This week on Myopia Movies, in honor of the new TV show, we celebrate the Warwick Davis and Val Kilmer in a LucasFilm and Ron Howard classic. We watched Willow and the last thing we are going to want is a hairy chest! How will Willow hold up? Host: N...
383: Addams Family Values
This week on Myopia Movies, in honor of Tim Burton's Addams Family reboot, we watched the classic sequel to the classic 1990s movie, the Addams Family Values! Join us as we talk about the hilarious cast and a trip to summer camp! How will Addams Fami...

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