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February 14, 2023

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486: Kazaam
This week on Myopia Movies, we learn the value of… Read more: 486: Kazaam
486: Sister Act
This week on Myopia Movies, we have a cameo appearance… Read more: 486: Sister Act
485: The Bride of Chucky
This week on Myopia Movies we retire horror month and… Read more: 485: The Bride of Chucky
484: Pitch Black
This week on Myopia Movies, we pay someone to polish… Read more: 484: Pitch Black
483: Silence of the Lambs
This week on Myopia Movies, the host is a big… Read more: 483: Silence of the Lambs
482: Vampire in Brooklyn
This week on Myopia Movies, Eddie Murphy sucks. We watched… Read more: 482: Vampire in Brooklyn
481: Underworld
This week on Myopia Movies, we get confused at a… Read more: 481: Underworld
480: Hail, Caesar
This week on Myopia Movies, we learn a thing or… Read more: 480: Hail, Caesar
479: Fargo
This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a midwestern classic,… Read more: 479: Fargo
13: Replay – Beetlejuice (1988)
In honor of its second week on the top of… Read more: 13: Replay – Beetlejuice (1988)
478: O Brother, Where Art Thou?
This week in Myopia Movies, we have a bit of… Read more: 478: O Brother, Where Art Thou?
31: Replay – The Sandlot
In honor of the passing of the late and great… Read more: 31: Replay – The Sandlot
477: Raising Arizona
This week, we learn the tragedy of high prison recidivism.… Read more: 477: Raising Arizona
476: The Big Lebowski
In honor of the long weekend, we start Coen Brothers… Read more: 476: The Big Lebowski
475: Batman (1989)
This week on Myopia Movies, you find out that you… Read more: 475: Batman (1989)
474: Big Trouble in Little China (Revisited)
Welcome to Myopia Movies! This week we revisit a very… Read more: 474: Big Trouble in Little China (Revisited)
473: Romeo + Juliet Revisited
This week on Myopia Movies, we buy Sword brand guns!… Read more: 473: Romeo + Juliet Revisited
472: The Mask – Revisited
This week on Myopia Movies, we celebrate the start of… Read more: 472: The Mask – Revisited
471: The Guyver (1991)
This week on Myopia Movies, we are trying to stay… Read more: 471: The Guyver (1991)
470: Johnny English
This week we watch the British version of Spy Hard,… Read more: 470: Johnny English
469: Casino Royale (1967)
This week watch some classic James Bond, Casino Royale! No, not the… Read more: 469: Casino Royale (1967)
467: Avengers (1998)
This week we do the Avengers movie everyone thinks of,… Read more: 467: Avengers (1998)
467: Demolition Man
This week we crack out three seashells and have sex… Read more: 467: Demolition Man
466: Rush Hour 2
This week on Myopia Movies, we dive into the explosive… Read more: 466: Rush Hour 2
465: The Adventures of Pluto Nash
Welcome back to another episode of "Myopia Movies," where we strap in for the cinematic car crash you can't look away from! This week, we embark on a journey to the lunar land of broken dreams and bad investments with Adventures of Pluto Nash. Pictur...
464: Dogma
This week we learn why to bless your golf clubs. This week we watch Dogma, schnoogans! Join us as we dive into the irreverent and hilarious world of Kevin Smith's "Dogma"! This week, we dissect the film's blend of divine comedy, theological debates, ...
463: Unbreakable (2001)
Welcome to another episode of Myopia Movies! This week, we dive into the thrilling, edge-of-your-seat excitement of Unbreakable. Yes, that's right, the 2000 classic where Bruce Willis discovers his superpower: looking perpetually confused and slightl...
462: Xanadu
This week on Myopia Movies, we lace up our roller skates and journey back to the glitter-soaked fever dream that is Xanadu. Join us as we watch Olivia Newton-John and a surprisingly spry Gene Kelly sing and skate their way through a plot so thin you ...
461: Constantine (2005)
This week on Myopia Movies, we dive into the dark, brooding, and oh-so-edgy world of Constantine. Marvel as Keanu Reeves chain-smokes his way through a film that somehow mixes theology, horror, and noir into a cocktail of supernatural shenanigans. Jo...
460: We’re Back
This Week on Myopia Movies: We Dive into the Prehistoric Puzzler, "We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story" Join us as we unearth the cinematic fossil that is "We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story," where the idea of dinosaurs roaming modern New York City is someho...
459: The Rocketeer
This week we watch Disney's first attempt at a superhero picture, Iron Man fights the Nazi's! We watched The Rocketeer, the movie that shows the dangers of alcohol. How will The Rocketeer hold up? Host: Daniel Panel: Matthew, Lauren, Charlie. Dire...
457: Rollerball (2002)
This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a remake, that was not asked for, not needed, missed the point, but boldly had Night Vision! We watched Rollerball (2002) and saw Rebecca Romjin naked in a PG 13 Movie as the director of Die Hard imagines the horr...
456: Mighty Ducks 3
Welcome to Myopia Movies, this week we wish there was mo Emilio! We watched Mighty Ducks 3, the search for more money. How will Mighty Ducks 3 hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Nur, Alex
455: Pokemon: The First Movie
This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a family film about dog fighting! We watched Pokemon: The First Movie, a film about GMOs, Euthanasia, and power no children should have. How will Pokemon: The First Movie hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Daniel, Alex, K...
454: The NeverEnding Story
This week on Myopia Movies, we are traumatized by another movie about flying by the director of Air Force One. Join us for childhood changing moments with The NeverEnding Story! How will The NeverEnding Story hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Kellie, Jon, Da...
453: Mimic (1997)
This week we call the exterminator and do a deep cleaning. We finish Quinntober with the Guillermo del Toro creature feature Mimic (1997). The movie that has makes us afraid of CDC efforts to end malaria. How will Mimic (1997) hold up? Host: Matthew...
451: The Phantom
Welcome by to a Quinntober Episode of Myopia! We are talking about the bespandexed and coweled Indiana Batman knock-off, The Phantom! How will The Phantom hold up? Host: Matthew Panel: Nic and Candace, and Nur(?) Directed by Simon WincerStarring: B...
55: Redwall by Brian Jacques
This week, Mike Carroll raps poetic about the role a mouse book played in his literary life. We talked about Redwall by Brian Jacques, volume 1 of 22; them mice sure get up to mischief! How does Redwall by Brian Jacques hold up? Co-hosted: Nic Hoffma...
451: The Ghost and the Darkness
This week of Quinntober we join two familiar faces as they shoot lions. We watched The Ghost and the Darkness, the movie where a British white savior isn't enough; you need an American as well. How will the Ghost and the Darkness hold up? Host: Matth...
450: Priest (2011)
This week on Myopia Movies, would you look at that, it is Quinntober an entirely Matt Quinn programmed month, so we, of course are starting with a Sci-Fi Fantasy Movie, where priest warrior Paul Bettany fights vampires when the theocratic world gover...
449: Ghost
This week on Myopia Movies we finish our Romantic Month with a movie directed by one of the Airplane guys. We watched Ghost, the movie where Tony Goldwyn enters the ranks of greatest on-screen deaths. How will Ghost hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Daniel,...
448: Pretty Woman
As we stretch this Romantic Month in to week four, how long is this shortest month, we watch the movie that brought Julia Roberts into our hearts. We saw Pretty Woman, everyone's favorite PG13 movie about prostitution. How will Pretty Woman hold up? ...
447: Teen Witch
This week we seduce the man of our dreams using magic, and have no qualms about that. We watched Teen Witch, the lady version of Teen Wolf! How will Teen Witch hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Lauren, Nur Directed by Dorian WalkerStarring: Robyn Li...
445: Legend (1985)
This week we find Tim Curry terrifying and erotic, like most weeks. We watched Legend (1985), a friend pointed out that Tom Cruise's teeth don't line up in this film. I noticed it. I can't stop noticing it. Turns out, he needed to get rid of them the...
446: Flashdance
This week we give up our construction job to go full into our dancing hobby, we watched Flashdance another movie with a vague boyfriend named Nick. How will Flashdance hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Lauren, Keiko and Nur Directed by Adrian LyneStarring J...
444: Back to the Future
This week in Myopia Movies, we watch the horniest time travel movie this side of Cinemax. To round out my month of selections we go back in time with Back to the Future. How will Back to the Future hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Charlie, Nur, and Candace...
443: Jaws (1975)
This week on Myopia Movies, we keep open the beaches. We continue Hoffmannia by watching Jaws, a reminder of the time I screamed at the beach after stepping on a sea nettle. How will Jaws hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matthew, Nur, Keiko Directed by Stev...
442: Terminator 2: Judgement Day
This week on another Hoffmanniac Month episode, you stick with us, because you want to live. We watched Terminator 2: Judgement Day, asta la vista, baby. Also, welcome Nur to the Cineprov Family! How will Terminator 2: Judgement Day hold up? Host: ...
441: Star Trek: Generations
This week on Myopia Movies, we start Hofftober Month and enter the Nexus! We watched Star Trek: Generations, one more Christmas movie this season. Yes, I curated the whole month, and yes Star Trek is fantastic. How will Star Trek: Generations hold u...
440: Silent Night, Deadly Night
This week we visit the most depressing company Christmas Party in Cinema history. We watched Silent Night, Deadly Night, Bambi's revenge! How will Silent Night, Deadly Night hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Matthew, and Charlie Directed by Charle...
439: Miracle on 34th Street
This week, with Christmas rapidly approaching, we revisit John Hughes' tight legal drama. We learn where John Hammond hid after Jurassic Park, we watched Miracle on 34th Street! How will Miracle on 34th Street hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko and Nur ...
53: The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King by J. R. R. Tolkien.
This week we complete the saga and talk The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King by J. R. R. Tolkien. Since the first season, we have had a guest episode with the great Robert von Hagen, but now, in season four we have completed the Tolkien seri...
438: Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and The Year without a Santa Claus
This week on Myopia Movies, we learn it is ok to be a dentist. We splurge and watch two classic Rankin and Bass Shorts! We watched Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and The Year without a Santa Claus, ground zero for the classic holiday characters Yukon...
437: Home Alone 3
This week we fight the bad guys and defend our home! We watched Home Alone 3, the first one that isn't a classic. How will Home Alone 3 hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko and Candace Directed by Raja GosnellWriten by John HughesStarring Alex D. Linz, ...
436: Rad (1986)
Grab your BMX, this is about to get EXTREME! We watched the 1980s cult classic Rad! Directed by the stunt man behind Smokey and the Bandit. How will Rad hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Matthew, Nur Directed by Hal NeedhamStarring: Bart Conner, Lor...
435: Lord of the Rings – The Return of the King
This week we finish the epic film franchise that is perfect for when the turkey has you glued to the couch. We watched the Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King, All this stuffing is so heavy, Sam. Our most awarded and gayest movie to date! How ...
434: True Lies
This week we visit Arnie, Tommy, and Jimmy as we make an American Austrian Bond Movie. We watched True Lies and trick our wives to do a sexy dance. How will True Lies hold up? Host: Jon Panel: Nic and Christine Directed by James CameronStarring: A...
433: The 6th Day
This week we return to Arnold! And guess what, not one, but two Arnolds! We watched The 6th Day, and we eat your birthday cake! Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Nur, Matthew How will The Sixth Day hold up? Directed by Roger SpottiswoodeStarring: Arnold Schwa...
432: Carrie (1976)
We end our Kingtastic Month with the classic Brian de Palma film about the dangers of menstruation. We watched the bicentennial's own Carrie! Earning an academy nod for both female leads, this film reminds us high school was awful, gym class was wors...
431: Creepshow (1982)
This week we watched a classic comic book movie, we watched Creepshow (1982), the one where everyone is kind of a bastard. Leslie Nielsen, Roaches, Dead people, everyone is a reallllll bastard. How will Creepshow (1982) hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Cha...
430: Graveyard Shift
This week, we get a crap job in Maine. We watched Graveyard Shift, has Brad Dourif ever been not sweaty? How will Graveyard Shift hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Charlie, Daniel, Nur Directed by Ralph S. SingletonStarring David Andrews, Kelly Wolf, Step...
429: Christine
This week on Myopia, we watch Stephen King's Top Gear! We saw Christine, what happens to bullying, nerds, and cars when Cocaine is involved. How will Christine hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Charlie, Madison, Matthew, Daniel Directed by John CarpenterSta...
428: The Stupids
As we wind down this Dantastic Month, he punishes us for doing so. We watched The Stupids, a movie with cameos from David Cronenberg, Christopher Lee, Frankie Faison and more! My only question is, why? How will The Stupids hold up? Host: Daniel Pa...
50: Just Kids by Patti Smith
This week, for our 50th episode, we talk memoirs, the art scene of the 1970s, the late Robert Mapplethorpe, and the incomparable Patti Smith. We talked Just Kids by Patti Smith. "WINNER OF THE NATIONAL BOOK AWARD “Reading rocker Smith’s account of h...
427: Armed and Dangerous
This week we continue our Dantastic month and podcast dictator Daniel has selected this baffling movie! We watched Armed and Dangerous, a movie with both John Candy and Eugene Levy playing sex objects. How will Armed and Dangerous hold up? Host: Dan...
426: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
This week, we talk about a comic adaptation where the fictional stories are actually biographies, which perhaps is why the plot is so contrived. We watched The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, what I imagine Sean Connery calls his drinking buddies....
425: Reanimator
This week we can't let a good idea die. We watched Reanimator or How to get a head in Science. How will Reanimator hold up? Host: Daniel Panel: Nic, Nur, Matthew Directed by Stuart GordonStarring: Jeffrey Combs, Bruce Abbott, Barbara Crampton, David...
424: Mortal Kombat (1995)
This week we watch the best video game movie I saw this year. We watched Mortal Kombat (1995), Round Two...FIGHT! How will Mortal Kombat hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Matthew Directed by Paul W.S. AndersonStarring: Christopher Lambert, Robin Shou,...
423: Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
This week we reheat vengeance, a dish best served cold. We watched Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, because we needed a good sci-fi cry. How will Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matthew, Keiko, Candace Directed by Nichola...
422: Batman Forever Revisited
This week we riddle over who's afraid of the big black bat, nothing homoerotic about that! We watched Batman Forever! Inspiring the newest ride at a Six Flags near you! How will Batman Forever hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matt, Charlie Directed by J...
415: A Goofy Movie – ReVisited
This week we revisit the scenic locale of the Leaning Tower of Cheesa. We revisited A Goofy Movie, watch it BEFORE YOU END UP IN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR! How will A Goofy Movie hold up after nine more years? Host: Nic Hoffmann Co-Host: Nur, Matthew Panel...
420: TMNT (2007)
This week on Myopia Movies we get season 10 going with a return to form; starting a season with a healthy dose of fighting and pizza. We watched TMNT, yet ANOTHER movie where Raphael was a jerk to everyone. How will TMNT hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Ke...
420: Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure
This week on Myopia Movies, we mourn a great one by celebrating a fantastic one and learned there is no basement in the Alamo. We watched Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, you don't wanna get mixed up with a guy like him. He's a loner, Dottie. A rebel. How w...
418: Alien: Resurrection
This week on Myopia Movies summer movies, we nearly kill Wynona Ryder and run out of ideas! We watched Alien: Resurrection, um...maybe pirates? How will Alien: Resurrection hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Jeremy, Matthew, Daniel Directed by Jean-Pierre ...
46: A Wrong Cruelly Done by Michael Carroll
Hey readers! This summer has been a mess and I promise we will soon return with a regular episode. In the meantime, here is a short story, soon to be published, by panelist Mike Carroll. A Wrong Cruelly Done. Enjoy, Nic
417: Alien 3
This week on Myopia, we cover our first Fincher flick! We watched Alien 3, in an insane world, a sane man must appear insane.Now, I know Daniel loves this one, but man, I was confused.... How will Alien 3 hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Jeremy, Daniel, an...
416: Aliens
This week, we learned that Paul Reiser can play a real shit-heel. We watched the James Cameron sequel, Aliens! In space, corporations still don't care about their workers.... How will Aliens hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Jeremy, Daniel, Matthew. Directe...
415: Alien
This week we learn about space and screaming. We start our summer movie fest with Alien! How will Alien hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matthew, Daniel, Jeremy Directed by Ridley Scott Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Tom Skerritt, John Hurt, Veronica Cartwrig...
407: Mission Impossible 2
This week on Myopia Movies, John Woo BRINGS THE DOVES! We watched the ageless Tom Cruise save the day again in honor of his newest Mission Impossible movie, 23 years after this one came out. How will Mission Impossible 2 hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Ch...
408: Popeye
This week, we will gladly pay you Tuesday for a podcast today! We watched a musical about Popeye from a world class director, because creativity died long ago. How will Popeye hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matt, Daniel Directed by Robert Altman Starring...
414: Garfield (2004)
This week we watched the CGI nightmare that is Garfield (2004). It raises important questions: was Bill Murray really tricked into this because he thought it was by Joel Coen instead of Joel Cohen? Why are all the animals real except for Garfield? Ca...
411: The Running Man
This week on Myopia Movies, we learn the dangers of reality TV and Jesse Ventura. We watched The Running Man, the greatest end to the Kardashians. How will the Running Man hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matthew, Daniel, Lauren Directed by Paul Michael G...
410: Shrek 2
This week on Myopia Movies, we are accidentally in love. We watched Shrek 2, the film that introduced the spin-off and makes Shrek, once again, into a sex symbol. How will Shrek 2 Hold up? Host: Nic Co-Host: Matt and Nur Directed by: Andrew Adamso...
409: Pet Sematary (1989)
This week we learn that sometimes, dead is better. We watched Pet Sematary, why would you live on the Talladega Raceway? How does Pet Sematary hold up? Host: Nic Co-Host: Matthew, Daniel, Nur

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